Lughnassadh

Lughnassadh approaches...
I admit, this is one of the holy days that I have a hard time with. I feel keenly the deeper meaning of sacrifice and an underlying sadness regarding it. Lughnassadh (you will find this spelled many ways - I spell it the way I learned to pronounce it in Irish). It is the first harvest and ceremony is performed, sacrifice given for the strengthening of the land and protection of crops. You will hear stories of John Barleycorn and his sacrifice. This is where my Lughnassadh sadness comes from. I recall a story from a wonderful wiccan with whom I have sadly lost touch. He had a story that he told at Lughnassadh that gave me chills with its beauty and sadness. It was the story of Lugh. In this story, he was loved by Brigid and he was sacrificed by Brigid to the nourishment of the land, his blood flowed through furrow into soil. I could never tell the story as beautifully as he told it, but I always carry with me the vision of Lugh bleeding into the earth and while he accepted fully, even gladly, the sacrifice of his life for the earth and its creatures. This story sets an aching in my heart. There are many stories of Lugh and if you have read them, you will say "Well that story couldn't have happened, that's not what happened with Lugh..." But this is an example of the sacred storyteller's art, not of the historian's or loremaster's art. Those gifts are commonly intertwined. But sometimes, they unravel and weave an exquisite trim to the mantle, though they are not the mantle itself. I remember too, another Lughnassadh at which a professed druid (a beginner) interrupted another story, more fantastical, and my response was the same. Though less courteous. This would be about ten years ago.
My points are several and I hope you are able to pick them out. I am in preparation for this Lughnassadh - for sacrifice and spellwork. We will sacrifice a good cut of beef and a heavy-grained loaf in the shape of a braid, sun or man. We will prepare our hunting equipment and begin to sharpen our skills for the coming hunting season. We will sing and dance and play music and I will think of Lugh as the sacrifice and as life. I see him as both. I see him dying and living and I have never in my life witnessed the death of the sun, as some traditions have it. My Lughnassadh may be different than the original, but I believe it comes from the same spiritual place - changed and even grown - but still the same in many ways.
For a brief history of Lughnassadh customs and origins, I direct you to Ellen Evert Hopman's A Druid's Herbal for the Sacred Earth Year. Lughnassadh may have changed in many ways, from its origins, but it is no less Lughnassadh. As with any holy day, the understanding of the spirit of the customs known is the important part. The roots are vital to the growth, fertility and survival of the tree.
Respectfully,
Niamh

Honor

As promised, I am adding my personal code of honor as a druid, though it is much abridged. This is the personal code of honor that I wrote about 15 years or so ago, so it goes without saying that I have added a lot to it since then. However, it still provides the bare bones of what I have interpreted my duties to be, as a druid and a pagan.

A Druid's Code of Honor
much abridged

First and foremost a druid is a sacred guardian of the earth. It would serve you well to act like it.
Believe in the power of good over evil always, but remember this: Light does not equal good and dark does not equaly evil.
Moderation in all things, even virtue.
Maintain a cheerful disposition and revel in the joy of living. These things are contagious.
The Gods and Goddesses are always there
Keep the rites of your Gods and Goddesses
Defend your rights and the rights of others
Keep your honor
Help and protect those who cannot do so for themselves.
Be courteous - be courteous even when others are not for they may not have had the chance to learn courtesy.
Grace and dignity go hand in hand.
Fight for the earth however you must for there are few of us who will. Fight for the animals, the forests, the greenfolk, the mountains, the waters, the air. Fight for them until death or there will be nothing left to fight for.
*******
As I have said, I have added a great deal more and clarified certain things over the years. This is my most basic list of my personal requirements to fulfill my duties as druid, on my own path.

Love, Honor and Respect,
Niamh

Bittersweet

Some creature or another left me a gift two days ago. I was complaining bitterly about the rabbits that have gotten out of control population-wise - eating everything in the vegetable garden - broccoli, celery, beans, peas - you name it. The other day my husband pointed out a grisly find. But one that I realized was a gift. A rabbit foot. Just a small one. I felt bad for the rabbit, but at the same time, I was deeply moved by this gift in the path out front. I suspect a neighborhood cat. At any rate, I say gift, because the vegetable garden is very important to us. We never had problems with critters before, but thanks to the new neighbors, the rabbits have been flushed out to our place which is rich with all kinds of lovely things to eat. I enjoy the rabbits, but at the same time, their numbers tend to get out of control very quickly. I cannot wait until we can move away from our neighbors! grumble...anyway, I was deeply moved and felt the foot was a message from my gods saying "We know you have your hands full right now and couldn't get to building the fence. Here is a little help." I felt this deeply when I saw the foot. I have since placed it in a spot beneath the fowering quince, where the family altar is. With a thank you and a blessing to the little creature who died. Bittersweet.

Scattered

You have not lived until you have baked bread in an unairconditioned house on a 90+ degree day...
I think I fried some brain cells doing precisely that yesterday. But at least I got a lot done :) I even roasted a damn chicken!! It was too hot to think of doing anything else to it. I also filled my daughter's swimming pool. I'm planning on taking her for her first "swim" this afternoon, once the water warms up. I have just been amusing myself with some blogs - I have to say, Views from the Cyberhenge is still my favorite. It has led me to some really excellent pages on politics- which is an area on which I need work. I have a tendency to gloss over politics because I am so utterly disgusted by it. But no purpose is served by ignoring it. That is preceisely how we wind up with an awful administration like the one we have.
Political awareness is painful to me. Our government is so big and bloated and corrupt that I would rather stick my head under a rock and pretend to be somewhere else. It seems, unfortunately, that most other folks feel that way too. I am normally a person who likes to get the dirty work done first, but I admit that I am so utterly without hope where our government is concerned. We have a president who cares not to respect or even acknowledge the limits of his office, his authority, a president whom I am sure cannot even spell the word "authority" and a Congress who will not put him in his place and except for the very rare person therein, does not care about the people they serve. The thing that disgusts me so, is that everything for them comes back to "it's a matter of national security - it's an issue of homeland security - you don't want the terrorists to git ya..." I am so f****** sick of that BS! "Terrorism" is the command word used to keep the feeb citizenry of this country in line, to keep us from asking too many questions! And Americans are too busy sticking their collective head under a rock and pretending it doesn't exist to question it and say "Hey, WTF??!" I am just as guilty of this as the next person and being a druid, I have far less excuse. For so long, my argument has been "I'm an artist, I'm stupid when it comes to politics, I don't understand, I don't even want to live in this country...blah-blah." Well, I haven't moved to Eire (yet) so what's the excuse? It's distasteful to be involved inpolitics. I dislike rude, tactless liars and so I have completely steered clear of politics. But I realize that I, as an American citizen and perhaps even more, as a druid, have no right whatsoever to take that line. I have to do something besides vote. Though, I am not exactly sure where to begin. My husband is a brilliant man with a keen grasp of politics and I have learned a great deal from him. Perhaps that is where I should begin. I also have begun to study the corruption in the small town where I live. I suppose I fear for my family who have already been targeted by certain people for demanding people follow the town laws (locan developer - long story). I have a long distasteful task ahead of me, but I do realize what needs to be done, for my own part anyway...

Council

I am in the process of working to create a local and possible regional druids' order and I have gotten to the point where I am questioning the validity of such a move. It is at the point where I move forward or table the idea once again. I suppose I should start with where I am as a druid. I am currently solitary in practice, about to return to my work as a clergy person after a few years take to attend to health issues and to have a child. I have undergone initiation by my gods and goddesses in this time and I have begun to work again with the pagan community in this area after having taken that time to myself. The druids I have worked with in the past are no longer in the area, so I am looking at starting anew. I know there is interest and I am just at the moment feeling a little apprehensive, as one does at the start of something important in one's life. I know that I am being moved by my gods and goddesses to do this, but I want to be certain that I have made the best preparation that I can to give to get this project off to its best start. I am beginning to realize that a) I have answered the questions that I have, to the best of my ability and b) the worries that I have are more like jitters or nerves - not really founded, it is pure emotion. I generally work best when I am a bit nervous about things. Keeps me on my toes. It seems right now that I am at the point in the journey after packing my bags, where I take a long deep breath before stepping foot onto road. Forgive the trite and badly written metaphor - I am operating on pure emotion as I write this. Perhaps another druid forum would be a good place to go ? I will give it a try :)

Scattered,
Niamh

OTW

*Coming up this week:
I will add a list of my favorite reading materials, as mentioned in my lsat post
My personal code of honor as a druid
My definition of what makes a druid in this day and age

*not necessarily in this order, rather each in their own time as they come.

Jangle

I couldn't tell you whether it's the caffeine or the heat or what, but I am so damn ornery today. My nerves are jangling - even listening to music is getting on my nerves. I suspect it's the pms. But it's not being helped by the 95 degree heat and humidity. Gumble...gross. Ah, anyway, I have had a weekend full of divination and more to come tonight. Busy druid indeed! But I am putting it off to watch Chocolat one more time before it has to go back to Netflix tomorrow :). Calming the nerves, is for me, essential to divination. I think this will be a fluffy post. I am realizing just how far behind the curve I am on this whole blogging thing. I am no technopagan, that's for sure. I was just reading some of Isaac Bonewits' site - I may not see exactly eye to eye with the man on every single issue concerning druidry and paganism, but he is one of my personal heroes for what he has done for druidry, paganism and the integrity of those paths.

Who are my "famous pagan" heroes? Well, Mr. Bonewits is one, Ellen Evert Hopman, Scott Cunningham and Amber K., umm, hmmm, Paul Beyerl as well. Oh! Margot Adler, absolutely. I enjoy her perspective and perceptions - she always gives me something new to think about. A new way to look at things if you will. To be honest, I have done my required reading of famous druids and pagans, but I prefer to read an assortment, when it comes to my spiritual path. I can neither afford the money nor the time to read everything being written in the pagan field nowadays. Nor the frustration. I like my sources to be a bit more broad. I find the best stuff from academic presses. I like pagan writers, sure, but I am most likely to get more out of reading history, academics, anthropologists and even certain fiction and defintely poetry. I think there is way too much being published without integrity in the pagan fields. Too much of the "insert tradition here" ilk. There is little to be found in the way of good old fashioned scholarly research. When there is, it is rarely mingled with actual practical knowledge or spiritual understanding. This is just speaking about the pagan publishing field. There are some books that are just pure unadulterated hogwash. Bullshit of the first order. I own some of these. That's how I can pass judgment. I think the ADF reading list is wonderful. I think that the Don't Read list is too - but I don't think one should necessarily discount reading something that someone else has disdained as crap. It may very likely be crap, but how will you know? Never trust a book report. If you have a yen to read it, do, and try to see why someone else thinks it's crap, but realize too, that you may just find a wee spot of truth or something that resonates deeply with you. There are some writers that absolutely piss me off, but I came to that conclusion on my own, not because it was on a list. I have as healthy a respect for the storyteller's art as the historian's. Sometimes those two things are the same, frequently they are not.
Wow, that got a little, wee bit tangential didn't it? I'm working on updating my reading materials list for students, that's what brought it out - that and I am crotchety as hell today and prone to babbling and ranting, even raving. Hehe, forgive me, please. I have a few dozen irons being prepared for the fire as we speak, so I am a bit scattered all around.
Well, it seems I have quickly exhausted anything of value I may have had to say. That is unfortunate, but expected on occasion.
Be well :)
Love, Honor and Respect,
Niamh

Silly

Here's something fun :)

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 15% Conservative, 85% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

You Are Elektra

There's really no superhero with more style than you.Because who could beat being sexy assasin ninja?

What Superhero Are You?

Interesting....

You Are 23% American

You're as American as Key Lime Tofu PieOtherwise known as un-American!You belong in Cairo or Paris...Get out fast - before you end up in Gitmo!

How American Are You?

yep, I'm afraid that's true. I'd be far happier in Eire :)

Branches

I realize that this is all terribly self-centered, but it is a journal. I think it is important to lay out some details of self if anything that I am to share in this space is to be of any use to anyone reading it. Which is, the whole point of doing this. But I admit to some level of discomfort blathering on about myself. I have been on a few forum boards lately and it seems that one needs to do a lot of blathering about oneself to iterate view points and personal experience. As a result, I find myself a bit too conscious of myself. Introspection is important, I just do not like feeling I am being selfish. Hmph. Anyway, onto the task at hand!

I went on about my "practical" upbringing, if you like. I guess I should address my pagan path, eh? Very well! Here it is:

As I have said, Christianity has never ever sat well with me. I have never really identified with being Christian and I disliked most of the Christians I grew up knowing - judgemental, bigoted, narrow, woman-hating, fundy fanatics who could not think themselves out of a paper bag was how I saw it. I grew up going to Christian schools and I always felt like a phony. I remember most of the whole Sunday school-church-Christian school period of time as a time which I spent lying about my piety. How many people did you witness to? Are you spreading the good word? Blah, blah blah. It actually became fun to invent stories about doing those things, in which I came off as a big Christian hero. Mind you, I never so much as disclosed my churchgoing to anyone who didn't know. Being a Christian was hokey, corny and embarrassing to me. At age...12 I think it was, I got a job as the church nursery keeper - yea! Now I no longer had to go to church! I just had to babysit the wee ones in the nursery. Two years later, I quit altogether - I just hated the whole thing so very much. I stopped going to church, much to my mother's chagrin. I think for me, the final straw, was being dragged to church one Sunday night (we went to Church Sunday morning and night and Wednesday night for Bible study) to see a film about the evils of rock music and how it was all Satanic and evil. That was when I lost it. My future vocation at the time was as a rock guitarist! And I knew damn well I wasn't evil or Satanic. So, with the burden of Christianity off my shoulders, I was now free to explore. Whenever anyone asked my religion, I now responded with the most exotic thing I could think of - Buddhist! Egyptian! etc...Somewhere around age 16, I found a book in the secondhand store that I liked to get funky clothes at. The Witches' Workbook, by Ann Grammary. Many of the things that I learned in that book resonated deeply with me. I now knew that there was another way of doing things, another faith, another way to have spirituality without the things that so disgusted me. I could be myself and be spiritual. So I began researching, in earnest, witchcraft, wicca, etc. I learned withccraft was not a dark evil thing, as I had been taught. It was beautiful and advocated something I had always had - a deep love of nature and a belief in magick. It was an intense year of study, nearly obsessive study, as I tried to learn everything I can, find the truth of it, the path that I was to take, etc. It was in my 17th year (always around my birthday too- strange that) that I discovered that there were druids and that they held their rites at Stonehenge, something that blew my mind. So, I made it my goal to become a druid. In my eighteenth year, I bought a book called Celtic Magic by DJ Conway. I know, I know - I do not want to hear it - it is not a book I recommend for many reasons, HOWEVER, AT THE TIME, it was what I was interested in, there was very little accessible to a highschool girl with a limited income and it was $5.00. So. I bought it. And devoured it. For years and years I had been having dreams and I had been drawing pictures and thinking of a man. He was a man I had never seen before in my life. Very tall, long coppery-gold hair and eyes the exact color of emeralds. Powerfully built and with the loveliest face you can ever imagine. He always had something to show me, something to tell me, whenever I was doing something magickal, I was thinking of him. I had no clue who this person was, but I wanted him to be proud of me. I assumed he was just a fantasy and that I was either crazy or just overly imaginative. But he seemed to be giving me very useful advice. Not listening to it seemed to be result in foolishness. And most of his advice was spiritual or related to my personal conduct, honor and artistry. I frequently saw him when I meditated or pathworked. I kept him to myself. So, on reading this book, Celtic Magic, I found a list of gods and goddesses. And I found the description that it never occurred to me that I would find. Tall, beautiful young man with emerald green eyes and coppery hair. Aengus mac Og. I always thought that my deities would be goddesses. From somewhere else - like greece or Egypt or the Britist Isles (I do not include Ireland as British). I always thought I would choose or that being pagan meant praying to the Goddess and the God, which was not something that particularly resonated with me. Anyway, on discovering this, I spent time researching him and finding very little. But enjoying his company nonetheless, when I finally came around to the idea of being worthy enough for a god to call. And I did understand, even then, that I was being called to spiritual service, as a druid, a priestess. I dedicated myself to discovering what I could about him and to doing things to please him. I tried to be a goddess worshipper - so many pagans seemed to go out of their way to stress that that was how one became pagan - or so I picked up from their writings. I kind of kept him to myself, but he was always there regardless. When I finally came out and said, listen, I follow a god, some pagan folks that I knew said "Oh that's wonderful" and promptly began to drift away from me. I found that that hurt, but it never made me question my decision and I never regretted that this incredibly god called to me. I never have regretted following him. This is the way I have grown as a pagan. I tried to reconcile being a druid with being wiccan. Most of the pagans I knew were wiccan. It did not work. And I am glad - the druid's path is very different, yes, but we are all pagans and our paths are vital to earth centered spirituality.

I have since, reformed many of my negative opinions of Christianity. I have some. But I no longer associate true Christianity with the kind that I grew up with. My mother is a beautiful Christian who could easily have been a minister. I base my view of Christianity on her and some of the other beloved Christian family friends I know. I do know some Christian clergy people and some active Christians as well. Obviously, I still have some issues with Christianity. There are some things about the Christian attitude and religious teachings that annoy the shit out of me. That's one of the reasons I am not Christian.There are times when Christians aggravate me to no end. But so do some pagans :) There are just some people who are aggravating. I find an irritating tendency in the pagan community to either bash Christianity or to be too tolerant of Christianity to the point of railing against a fellow pagan who is having an issue at the ime with Christianity. People need to be able to express their irritation with another. Sometimes that means ranting and venting and blowing off steam. Learn the difference.

Love, Honor and Respect
Niamh sionnachdubh

Roots

It would probably be a good idea to reveal a thing or two about myself. I am 34 and mother to a wonderful wee girl and wife to an amazing man. I have been knowingly walking a pagan path since 1988. I say knowingly. When I look back at childhood and adoloescence, I can safely say that I have probably always been pagan. I grew up in the country on a small beef farm. I have always believed in other worlds and in beings that other folks couldn't see and I sometimes could. I have always believed in magick and I have never, ever been even remotely comfortable with my Christian upbringing, though I adore and get along beautifully with my Christian mother and my agnostic brother. I have been out of the "broom closet" so to speak for 10 years now. Maybe more. I can't really remember when I came out, only that it was about an hour's worth of horror for my mother and a few hours of detailing and explaining my beliefs to her. My brother just kind of figured me out on his own.

I was extremely lucky to grow up in the country where we had plenty of forest and pasture, with parents who understood the value of good fertile land, clean water and the bounty of the forest where we could hunt and forage (nothing like fresh wild berries and hickory nuts :)). I also learned how to do a lot of things "the old fashioned" way. Baking, canning, pickling, sewing, making maple syrup, milking, tending chickens and my passion - gardening. These are all incredibly important skills to my life now and I could not be more grateful to my city-girl mom for turning into a country-girl. It's really quite amazing to think about.

I have studied music since I was quite small, starting out on the piano and wanting to pursue that to the concert stage. I was always artistic and dreamy - so that all kind of came together for me at an early age. I took up the guitar at age 12 and that became my passion. I pursued a career as a classical guitarist with a desire to go into orchestral conducting ( I conducted a small group for a short while in my early twenties). It was not to be however. With no clear way to afford music school, orchestral conducting would have to wait. I did make a fairly successful living as a guitarist, focusing on classical guitar, until later into my twenties when I began having some pretty severe problems with my shoulder, wrists and hands. So that was the end of a career in music. I was bitter about it, and still am on occasion, but for the most part I understand and I am pretty delighted that I have artistic skill to fall back on. Of course, the real skill to have to fall back on, would have been as a high paid ceo or something...oh well (dramatic sigh), we work with what we have :)

I think that covers my upbringing and some of my history, just to make clear where I am coming from on some issues. I have not said a whole lot about my pagan beginnings, I wanted to get my roots out of the way first - makes explaining things so much easier later on, no? Hopefully, no one reading this will have fallen asleep.

Intent

When I created this space last night, I did so without having any real clear intent. I only had this annoying sense that I should do it. To what end? Who knew? I am not particularly computer savvy and I do not really even like computers all that much. So why the urge to make this?
After having the night to think on it, I know that I need to do this in order to provide a place where a druid's daily (or as often as I can manage) path may be contemplated. When I began my path as a druid, some 17 years ago, it was after a year of experimenting with different pagan paths. There were (and are) books on the ancient Celts and there were even books on becoming a druid, being a druid and books speculating about being a druid. But there was very little to go on in a practical sense, as a 17 year old with a small income (no group memberships here!) and being very much in the closet in a Christian household. Now, there are forum boards and lots of books, but I find few of those things give a good sense of what it is to really become a druid in philosophy, theology and practicality. I would like to give as clear a view as possible on my path and how I got here as well as how this path influences and guides my daily life. This is what I would have given anything to see, as a young pagan woman during a time when pagan paths were just coming to public knowledge. If it can be a help, then I will have reached a goal. There may be other goals to come, but this is my aim for now. This, I do as a part of my initiation next year. I guess you could think of it as going from druid to Druid perhaps. Some researchers say that it could take up to 20 years of study and memorizing to become a druid. I guess the same can hold true today. So, as a prelude to taking on my torque next Imbolc, here I am to share what I can.
I was not entirely sure how this was going to go, so I have kept my list of people who may comment very short. Near non existent, until I got the hang of this. But I think perhaps my purpose will be best served in opening it up to the general readership online, whomever that may be.
There are a good may excellent pagan shops and services online, and I realize having access to them is an important thing for folks in some of the more out of the way areas. So I am going to open this journal to ads. If it gets too annoying, I trust I will hear about it, at which point, I will do something about it.
Love, Honor and Respect
Niamh sionnachdubh

Beginning

I was not entirely sure I would have the gall to go through with this. And I may not yet. But I do need to practice writing and ordering thoughts somewhat coherently. I always did write my journals as if I were speaking to another. Now I am - that will take some getting used to.
The heat is growing nearly unbearable - the humidity too. I barely have any interest in going outside and that is what I loathe most about July. On the bright side, I have plenty of things to be excited about, not the least of which is the spell upcoming for Lughnassadh. I have some world-walking to do and some questions to ask which will hopefully reap some answers. That is tomorrow night's task and one I look forward to. I have only to remember to prepare the things I need during the day and to either get some sleep or drink coffee. Feeding the baby every two hours leaves me a little frazzled by the time evening rolls around and all my good intentions to do serious magickal work seem to fade. Thankfully, I am blessed with a god who is most sweet natured and understanding. I have decided to pay attention to one board alone, and that is Father Oak's Druid forum. The other is a waste of time, energy and frustration. There are a few intelligent, thoughtful people on it and I find I am not one of them when I am in that environment. I do not like what it brings out in me. So, Father Oak's it is.
Goodnight and sweet dreams...
Niamh